fears and frustration

how pain it is to live in your own world?
Surrounded by fear and frustration,
of betrayal and ignorance that fuck you off
the wonderwall ,oasis call it , that keep you from pain but also from happiness
scientifically it's just a protection mechanism
dont judge me , give me chance
eventhough an introvert will keep being one but aint no reason to hurt people
family..friends...i do love you that i think my present is unnessary
i am just living to keep a balance in ecosystem
dying and begging for The Almighty's love and bless to keep breath in this world
but i haven't yet be the good muslim
so why react like some brat spoil kid bitching other people
wake up farhana

of rants and the grow up letter

All I know is we said hello
Your eyes look like coming home
All I know is a simple name, everything has changed
All I know is he held the door
You'll be mine and I'll be yours
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

All I know is we said hello
So dust off your highest hopes
All I know is pouring rain
And everything has changed
All I know is a new found grace
All my days, I'll know your face
All I know since yesterday is everything has changed

Everything has changed- Taylor Swift

The part of 'everything has changed' is repeated in my mind the whole week. Yes, coming back to once your beloved city ain't all waltz.The bus station is not there anymore, the people you used to meet is not there, the classroom isn't there but replaced by an office at 13th floor. 

Being alone. In a crowd. Of strangers and friend. Of enemy and angel. 

Why it is so hard to adapt myself into this new world. Well, I know at the end i am gonna miss this big time, but i hate to wait for that time. i hate to struggle myself to be comfort in new place (although in the past i truly comfort with it). 

really true. being a traveller really make you mature. 

you know that this whole world is not a bed for you to sleep and dream.

you know that people you love and comfort from the past will also change.

it is so hurt to know the truth that... you dont belong to anywhere.

you only want your mummy and daddy because you trust them for bring comfort and love. 

didn't you trust your sahabat that also can give you the same comfort and love?

didn't you trust your colleagues, the community that can give you the same love and comfort?

you really have to change, because everyone did. 

for good actually.

grow up farhana.