Assalamualaikum.
Greetings!
Just blog walking at two of my favorite blogger and both of them are talking about introvert.
Yeah i think that can summarize my inner conflict right now. I mean, often while i'm doing my work alone i like talking to myself and thinking about things (and actually make gestures too). It's like if i had an imaginary friends, i will talk to him about it (yeah i prefer male character, at this period his face would be like Wallace Chung) or if i had a pen i will write about it. I cannot talk about these stuff with my collegue or even my best friend because i love having it personal.
Because of my introvert traits, i feel i am not suit for this job. i don't hate people, i just scared of them. extroverts get energy from people, but i need to try hard just to talk to a person. If he/she had an easygoing character, then i will be nice to them. but if they're going witty, pushy or whatever it called, i will resent them. i am tired. like the superman who had to work at near krypton area. i kills me but i know i had to overcome this weakness.
i got very good collegue but i can't too depended on them. that's why i am thinking about to move on from this job. i make a deal with myself i would go through this job permanent for a year and i had decide to stay but something come out that make me think i am not suitable for this job anymore. yeah, you talking about a graduates who picky for a job and don't want to work hard. i just cannot find my path. i am failed to pretend i am okay with it and the life that come with it. i somehow don't find the exact answer.
a job that makes me a human, not a robot. a job that no matter how shit it is, i'll be able to learn hard on it and survive. i shall stop stalking people on social media so i'll not have this uneasiness. i'm getting sleepy right now. too much thinking without doing nothing, i want to change that.
till then.
bye
Monday, 28 March 2016
Wednesday, 16 March 2016
Dreams and my reality
Assalamualaikum
Greetings
I just finished watching a chinese drama that i am so into it. In the midst of the beautiful fantasy drama, i had meet a reality scene that make me just thinking again what life is mean.
My life in specifically.
Okay, we start first with the 'dreams' that been served in that drama.
It is a story about how a couple meet after years of silent seperation, they got a lot to catch up for those missing years. Yes, not really my mindfucking drama type. Major reason i am watching that drama bcoz the girl is cute & the man is cool. Thats the dream part of the story. A cute girl in every angle would make you so distress bcoz u can't be like that. Yeah she got make up even in sleep scene wheareas normal human being mostly dont look that pretty in their sleep.
Cute appearance have been idolized since hallyu wave goes around the world. In reality u will find many cute girl (especially the chinese that can easily copy those kpop style). They can be cute but does their action cute too?
I am not judgemental over cute girl nor saying all of them are bad. It just most people pays on their appearance but not their attitude. The drama is potraying more on the cute side of the cast, not the strong spirit in her. Yeah, she face hardship but it seems that she find a 'fantasy' solution, a quick and need luck to get it. In real life, a helping hand is soo hard to get & you will learn the art of survival by yourself.
Next, the guy is so cool. Drama defination of cool is you have to frown 24 hours and look so admirable when you actually smile. Haha. So the actor done that better than the actor in ' my boss and me'. But the drama writer seems to define an aggressive man as part of the cool, which i am totally dispise. Like the same old story of bad guy who hit and hurt woman have to be forgiven just bcause they are actually 'lack of love', 'over jealousy' & other reasons. Abusement is not romanicism. In reality if a guy dare to lay a finger on his loved one (especially if they are not married yet), then he will dare to abuse his woman more if the woman does not properly protect themselves. Yes, reality taught you to not being naive just let a guy do anything to you just because u lo ve each other. People do make mistakes but you as a woman should clearly object that kind of treatment, have a strong stand to protect yourself. Dont just easily forgive bcause you know u wont be able to forget if the matter is not settled properly.
All those 'dreams' served by dramas really make you want to run from reality. It's only a fantasy amd illusion if you dont include the most important subject in life. Your faith to God who created you. I found that most of drama can be so full of positive life quote and point of view, but lacking in their faith to God. In reality the people in their country choose suicide as the final solution and decision. It is good if they meet good people, good family, good friends and lover.but once they lost them, they find no reason to live. They dont know the fact that God is waiting for them, just one second to think why they are exist in this world, who created them.
My reality, i face people of my own living life without faith in God. I am afraid of the reality i been living in. Thats why i always run to the dreams and drown in it. But i just think... if i love Allah, i must seek him. I must honestly find the solace with Him. I must stop this craziness over that dreams and creates a meaningful life with good people. And i think, it is time to change the path of my life. I want to run after Him. I want everyday it's Him the reason of what i've been doing in life. I want to find Him. That's my reality.
Greetings
I just finished watching a chinese drama that i am so into it. In the midst of the beautiful fantasy drama, i had meet a reality scene that make me just thinking again what life is mean.
My life in specifically.
Okay, we start first with the 'dreams' that been served in that drama.
It is a story about how a couple meet after years of silent seperation, they got a lot to catch up for those missing years. Yes, not really my mindfucking drama type. Major reason i am watching that drama bcoz the girl is cute & the man is cool. Thats the dream part of the story. A cute girl in every angle would make you so distress bcoz u can't be like that. Yeah she got make up even in sleep scene wheareas normal human being mostly dont look that pretty in their sleep.
Cute appearance have been idolized since hallyu wave goes around the world. In reality u will find many cute girl (especially the chinese that can easily copy those kpop style). They can be cute but does their action cute too?
I am not judgemental over cute girl nor saying all of them are bad. It just most people pays on their appearance but not their attitude. The drama is potraying more on the cute side of the cast, not the strong spirit in her. Yeah, she face hardship but it seems that she find a 'fantasy' solution, a quick and need luck to get it. In real life, a helping hand is soo hard to get & you will learn the art of survival by yourself.
Next, the guy is so cool. Drama defination of cool is you have to frown 24 hours and look so admirable when you actually smile. Haha. So the actor done that better than the actor in ' my boss and me'. But the drama writer seems to define an aggressive man as part of the cool, which i am totally dispise. Like the same old story of bad guy who hit and hurt woman have to be forgiven just bcause they are actually 'lack of love', 'over jealousy' & other reasons. Abusement is not romanicism. In reality if a guy dare to lay a finger on his loved one (especially if they are not married yet), then he will dare to abuse his woman more if the woman does not properly protect themselves. Yes, reality taught you to not being naive just let a guy do anything to you just because u lo ve each other. People do make mistakes but you as a woman should clearly object that kind of treatment, have a strong stand to protect yourself. Dont just easily forgive bcause you know u wont be able to forget if the matter is not settled properly.
All those 'dreams' served by dramas really make you want to run from reality. It's only a fantasy amd illusion if you dont include the most important subject in life. Your faith to God who created you. I found that most of drama can be so full of positive life quote and point of view, but lacking in their faith to God. In reality the people in their country choose suicide as the final solution and decision. It is good if they meet good people, good family, good friends and lover.but once they lost them, they find no reason to live. They dont know the fact that God is waiting for them, just one second to think why they are exist in this world, who created them.
My reality, i face people of my own living life without faith in God. I am afraid of the reality i been living in. Thats why i always run to the dreams and drown in it. But i just think... if i love Allah, i must seek him. I must honestly find the solace with Him. I must stop this craziness over that dreams and creates a meaningful life with good people. And i think, it is time to change the path of my life. I want to run after Him. I want everyday it's Him the reason of what i've been doing in life. I want to find Him. That's my reality.
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