If i gone

Fathia melemparkan beg selempangnya ke meja kopi di ruang tamu rumahnya lalu menghenyakkan punggung di sofa yang berdekatan. Dia mengurut pelipisnya yang dirasakan berdenyut-denyut.

Setiap hari dalam hidupnya dipenuhi dengan masalah. Sejak dari zaman sekolah rendah lagi. 
Yelah macam orang lain tak ada masalah la kan. 

"Shut up" gumamnya. Dia penat bertengkar dengan sifat rasional dalam dirinya. Dia benci setiap kali terpaksa memujuk dirinya 'all is well' seperti phusukh wandu selalu canangkan. 

It is not well and its not gonna be well. Dia penat. Penat dengan 'expectation' orang sampaikan dia terasa tak mahu kongsikannya dengan sesiapa pun termasuk ibu bapa dan sahabat karibnya. Tetapi...mungkin Izham... 

"Hei..."
"Pergi Izham aku tak nak cakap dengan kau!"
"Uhh..marah. Kau yang tengah fikirkan aku, dowh. So aku muncullah"
"Aku bukan desperate sgt la asyik nak panggil kau je"
"Well spill"
"Aku penat"
"the old story?"
"Aku penat...aku penat, aku penat sangat. can people just leave me alone"
"They follow you around because they care"
"No! they just want to do some good deed to charity case like me. the pitiful girl with shamless job.aku penat sgt Am. Its like...every people that i know termasuk my bff si Adila tu cornered me with the same question. with the fake hope to see me have a better future. aku tanya kau salah ke kerja aku ni? kerja retail ini jelah peluang kerja yang aku dpt. kau ingat aku x rasa penat or malu ke dgn degree yang aku ada aku hanya mampu serve orang kat supermarket."
"Yeah..mmg lah susah"
"People keep saying cari kerja lain and rekomen me with this and that without asking what i really want. and all my friend had been piss off with me because i keep ranting to them. worse...i think God also had enough with me"
"Girl dont be dramatic."
"It is soo true. mom said i dont pray enough to God thats why my life is this misery. she dont know...she just dont know....i am so tired that i just wanna die. but that can't happen because i have my ptptn debt. God dont allowed me to give up even if i want that so much."
"Life is about never give up"
"WHat life? i even dont know how to fall in love or care for someone as much as i care for myself...this is like a punishment. like the korea goblin tale"
Silent.
"So u are tired?"
Angguk.
"And want to quit everything?"
Angguk.
"Are u sure u ready for that?" 
No reaction. 
"I am tired and dont want to bother you again. i am tired of living"
"At least you exist...with God mercy. He must love you more than me...your imaginary friend"
"I dont care anymore"
"Fine..then i think your family is back. even i dont know whether it is going to be bad news or good news. till then... "

Pintu rumah dibuka. Ibu Fathia,Puan Kalsom muncul sambil menangis teresak2. 
Air mata seorang ibu yang tidak pasti lagi sama kerana sedih kehilangan seorang anak perempuan bernama Fathia yang kemalangan jln raya atau kerana sesuatu yang lebih memilukan berlaku pada Fathia yang berjaya melepasi detik hampir dengan maut. 


Fathia melepaskan satu keluhan berat. 
Mati dan segalanya selesai.Dia akan jadi seorang yang mementingkan diri sendiri. 
Hidup dan hilang keupayaan untuk 'hidup'. 
Life is a tragedy.

the other side of mr goblin

Assalamualaikum. Greetings.

 I was vlogwalking...

No, not about this. I don't care if they got black paint on their house.
So i was vlogwalking just to see if there's interesting interview about Mr Gong Yoo (why la you suddenly ambush my heart and kick it until it fell down to stomach). And it brought me to this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GiPIBHuYsA

It is People Inside interview back in 2011 when Gong Yoo filmed Dogani (internationally known as Silenced). Seriously i only know him from Coffee Prince, Biscuit Teacher and Star Candy, Big and even when he came as guest in Running Man, i have no fond of him. Like 'Duhh.. what's the big deal about this dude..he just got tough body and bold kissing scene with Eun Hye'. But that change when I saw him in Train to Busan and recently hit drama Goblin. I thought..'Well this man is kinda interesting'.He is like the Hollywood actor that much hotter when they grow old. *seriously why aren't you married yet.

Ok enough of that.

Dogani is a film based on true story in Inhwa School, Gwangju South Korea. It is a school for deaf, disabled students. Back in 2000 till 2005, there is actually few cases of abuse and rape towards students done by the principal, some teacher and authority that been expose by few new teacher and social justice worker. But sadly it ends with poor justice....urghh can you imagine the principal and high authority that did the crime being released by an amount of fine like totally ridiculous because for sure there is a lack of law clause that will justify the victims. A novel written by  Gong Ji-young take interest of a producer and Gong Yoo to filmed it. It is claimed as a low budget film but as Gong Yoo also mentioned, they never expect that it will create huge reaction among the viewers. You can read the details in wikipedia or watch this talk but in a nutshell after people know about the case through this movie (and after few involvement of public, media and activist) the government came with Dogani Bill, an improvement of law clause that protect the disabled children. Not only that, it raise up public awareness that more facility for disabled person been done. 

Clap! Clap!

I know in this world that full of injustice, only certain people manage to overcome it. Crime and injustice act can't be stopped by merely a hand, not even PBB, America, or Donald Trump. The most huge power come from the people. Even is you merely a janitor at school, you can stop bully cases if you aware of it. Yes you can say 'Come on, we have Palestine, Aleppo issue to be concern. This is just an immature act and we already have law to protect them'. If it happen among students, it can be call as immature but if it's done by adult, then it's totally a big issue. And yeah whoever do the crime does it leave the same huge scar in the victim through his/her lifetime? So stop whatever you think does not right or does not make sense..even if it involving only one victim. 

I know this entry can be write by anybody and still the social awareness ain't increase. But take this as an example. Gong Yoo as a normal citizen said he always be a bystander and don't really care about the social issue. But once you know something that does not right, never denied your intuition. You maybe can be ignorant but never agreed with that wrongdoings even if everybody is doing it or agreed with it. In the movie, Gong Yoo character said to an ahjumma 'If I let this go, I don't know if I can be a father towards my daughter and a husband towards my wife anymore'. 

It's not the judge who wrongly judge people. It is the silenced people who let the judgement goes wrong. 

I am not suggesting people to watch this movie to feel pain and hurtful, because I really can't stand violent action. I can take thriller but not this kind of thrill. But I am appraised for their bravely to bring such cases to audience. Truth hurt but it is better than a candy of fantasy. So thumb up for my hero Gong Yoo and all the people involve in that movie. So who say a movie can't shake a nation or even change the law?

I hope Malaysian people can be more honest and truthful too.

the crazy kdrama fans

Enough saying. I just love them. Can't wait friday.