Fathia melemparkan beg selempangnya ke meja kopi di ruang tamu rumahnya lalu menghenyakkan punggung di sofa yang berdekatan. Dia mengurut pelipisnya yang dirasakan berdenyut-denyut.
Setiap hari dalam hidupnya dipenuhi dengan masalah. Sejak dari zaman sekolah rendah lagi.
Yelah macam orang lain tak ada masalah la kan.
"Shut up" gumamnya. Dia penat bertengkar dengan sifat rasional dalam dirinya. Dia benci setiap kali terpaksa memujuk dirinya 'all is well' seperti phusukh wandu selalu canangkan.
It is not well and its not gonna be well. Dia penat. Penat dengan 'expectation' orang sampaikan dia terasa tak mahu kongsikannya dengan sesiapa pun termasuk ibu bapa dan sahabat karibnya. Tetapi...mungkin Izham...
"Hei..."
"Pergi Izham aku tak nak cakap dengan kau!"
"Uhh..marah. Kau yang tengah fikirkan aku, dowh. So aku muncullah"
"Aku bukan desperate sgt la asyik nak panggil kau je"
"Well spill"
"Aku penat"
"the old story?"
"Aku penat...aku penat, aku penat sangat. can people just leave me alone"
"They follow you around because they care"
"No! they just want to do some good deed to charity case like me. the pitiful girl with shamless job.aku penat sgt Am. Its like...every people that i know termasuk my bff si Adila tu cornered me with the same question. with the fake hope to see me have a better future. aku tanya kau salah ke kerja aku ni? kerja retail ini jelah peluang kerja yang aku dpt. kau ingat aku x rasa penat or malu ke dgn degree yang aku ada aku hanya mampu serve orang kat supermarket."
"Yeah..mmg lah susah"
"People keep saying cari kerja lain and rekomen me with this and that without asking what i really want. and all my friend had been piss off with me because i keep ranting to them. worse...i think God also had enough with me"
"Girl dont be dramatic."
"It is soo true. mom said i dont pray enough to God thats why my life is this misery. she dont know...she just dont know....i am so tired that i just wanna die. but that can't happen because i have my ptptn debt. God dont allowed me to give up even if i want that so much."
"Life is about never give up"
"WHat life? i even dont know how to fall in love or care for someone as much as i care for myself...this is like a punishment. like the korea goblin tale"
Silent.
"So u are tired?"
Angguk.
"And want to quit everything?"
Angguk.
"Are u sure u ready for that?"
No reaction.
"I am tired and dont want to bother you again. i am tired of living"
"At least you exist...with God mercy. He must love you more than me...your imaginary friend"
"I dont care anymore"
"Fine..then i think your family is back. even i dont know whether it is going to be bad news or good news. till then... "
Pintu rumah dibuka. Ibu Fathia,Puan Kalsom muncul sambil menangis teresak2.
Air mata seorang ibu yang tidak pasti lagi sama kerana sedih kehilangan seorang anak perempuan bernama Fathia yang kemalangan jln raya atau kerana sesuatu yang lebih memilukan berlaku pada Fathia yang berjaya melepasi detik hampir dengan maut.
Fathia melepaskan satu keluhan berat.
Mati dan segalanya selesai.Dia akan jadi seorang yang mementingkan diri sendiri.
Hidup dan hilang keupayaan untuk 'hidup'.
Life is a tragedy.
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