of this and that

here some issues that got my attention today

1. SPM

watched vioe of thinker studio about spm and stuff. i like one statement that come from a beautiful mc

'yes, i just got 2A. actually i intentionally do that. before spm, i already decide to enter uitm so i check out the qualification to enter mascom. so i study only to pass that qualification. why bother study many thing if you already know what you want. i want to be in entertainment biz so i wont bother about math, add math and stuff'

ok the last statement is actually a short form from her long conversation.

i think she is truly right. why i dont even think like that before this. why youtube is not exist when i am taking spm (ehem actually my home internet is quit low in connection at that time) so i can get many wisdom words from matluthfi and other youtubers. CAPITAL WHYYY?

ahah.no need to be drama. i actually think there is a weakness in education system at that time. to be specific, i just think that my school environment are filled with students want to achieve straight A's, getting A in curriculum, be on news, make teacher proud and stuff. well they said it is the best school in town and sometime i do feel proud. but i always think ' so what will happen to students like me who never in dreams will achieve that straight a's target?'. to be realistic no matter how motivate and hardworking you are if it is not your rezeki then it will not happen.

i tell you i am doing everything that a nerd students would do. i seldom stay at library to study (and sleep), i watch amalina che bakri's video for inspirational (before she stop being innocent), i burn the midnight oil (and fell sleep at the most time of course), making cute notes and more. but i only achieved half of the target.

that's my fate. become the plain person who record no achievement on school board. next stage, university. when choosing university and course, i have a low self esteem so i choose uitm (excuse me hanis zalikha and yuna also go there so no need to feel shame). then for the course, i only choose the one related to math because i am quit confident in it (i am not excellent in add math but i love to find the way to solve it).

ambition?
i'll think about it later. maybe after graduate (five years after graduate i still dont know my ambition)

but i know what i love.
i love to read and write. i love to imagine things from scratch. i love to make a philosophy and have a deep thinking even with simple matter. i love to help people and soothen their worries.

i am not really interested in gaining a lot of money (even though i realllllllly need it right now). i want to be happy and grateful with whatever i have. i dont want to be saved, but i always want to be a saviour.

i really not interested to get things sell. but i really glad if i can give someone a helping hand. i am more into service lady.

but the world is already full with extrovert person making huge achievement and leaving this shy introvert girl far behind. i lost but i just stick to the things that make me happy. my family, books, my sacred laptop and friends. but i know i cant be this comfortable forever. i must push myself. it just.....like katy perry said ;

'you say move on where do i go' (*i did mention this statement before, right?)

it's mean i have no place for me in this world, taylor.

hey, btw hear this philosophy. god, i really love dahlia sazlan (thinker studio. she the one i talk about at the beginning) for her interesting thought.

'i would not like a man who try to woo me by treating me extra-well (ex; pulling chair, taking food for you, singing lullaby). what if he dont like me, would he do the same thing? a manner and feeling is a very different thing guys. you must treat all woman kindly (yes, man also. treat all living creature well)'

tak faham. ok silalah tgk balik video tu. mmg semua pun tak faham apa dia cuba sampaikan.
haha
but you get my point right?

whatever