Blah la kau J

Assalamualaikum.
Greetings.

Ini lah mukadimah yg proper. Bukan mcm sebelum ni, mencarut mcm org tak betul.

Jadi siapa J dlm dua entri lepas aku? Yup, ia sememangnya apa yg semua fikirkan. Mmg sbnrnya nk tulis tajuk penuh buku Tamar Jalis tu tp aku tak nak obvious sgt kekacauan emosinya.

I cry today. Pfttt bila je kau tak menangis, perempuan. I mean yeah aku rasa nak buang everything and everyone. I dont even care this entry pakai bahasa rojak. Screw me.

And so i run. I run away with Hyuga (my car) to the place i have been in my life. My schools and some places that i found calmness (#gununglambak #diystore. Can u believe it). And right now i am in a mosque beside my old school.

To told u the truth, this is the very special place i always go when i am ruin. Haha. Failing in exam, ditching by my crush (lol never la), arguing with best friend.

Even in my university life, i found calmness when i go to mosque. And library. Because the park are too crowded with people and yeah it is not quit pretty view actually.

I am far from being the very good girl who pray a lot. I found calmness just by sitting alone and maybe read some quran or pretend to busy with phone while actually i am having a deep thinking.

Back to the cry subject... I know i can run away. But i always keep come back to the same place. I am angry with God sometimes, but by the end of the day i still come to His place.

I dont know what to do in my life (as always).
So yeah..whatever. but sincerely i really afraid that this would happen to me.

*Find youself jong hyun suicide note on youtube

Years back... I almost a thin layer of paper to take my own life. My feeling are like always hanging around that suicide subject, it takes only a guts that will command my body to act.

I pray to God that give me a way, give me something to change my life. And later,  He did. In a very unexpected way. I found usrah and few friends that seem to tied my heart with them.

I am a very sceptic person, i dont easily getting friendly with people. But somehow, they never give up on me that i decide to give my all to 'that way' and them.

I found Islam as my addin (a way of life).

This is not a good ending neither have connection to the title. But i better stop now. He is going to call me. And i feel,this time i have to sincerely answering His call.

Bye.