salam alaik.
hari ni aku pergi wedding kwn baik aku raudhah.
alhamdulillah.
well thats not i want to talk about here.
it just something that related to it.
i chat with one of her friend, who actually from terengganu but works here. she said she is raudha's ex-housemate, uni-mate, and currently coworker.
a girl come from terengganu just to work here with a salary that i can guess not big enough just so she could survive.
i am not saying terengganu is a kampung place or what but yes, maybe chance to work at the south is better than north. especially in kuala lumpur.
i had another friend, well a bunch of friend from perak, kelantan and other places migrates to kl and putrajaya to work as kindergarden teacher which all of the world know is a noble but not a really fancy work.
and also, i met some of my uni-mate (both from kelantan)who got married and settle down at big city doing various independent job.
why am i stating all that?
because i want to scream to old-minded people out there, there is vast ways for a youth today to stay survive. the noble step would probably when they do 'hijrah' from their hometown (read: comfort zone). as i grow up i had stop hoping for the real rules and regulation of a perfect life. before this i used to think yes, maybe the worst thing i could end up being a kindergarten teacher, having a 9 to 5 work just like my parent, meet a good guy and get married before end up with bunch of lovely child.... the fairytale story.
but my fate seem to take a far route from that 'perfect' life. i dont meet up with guy as i am basically a terrible social awkward (especially with man. i blame my introvert blood), i meet my turning point at university but it seem i take a u-turn back to my old self, making all the believe and hope and dream that i build just destroy. before this i got the perfect mind and thought of how a human should live. but today, like any adult out there, i would just do anything to survive.
although i am quit unhappy with it and the family & society pressure add fuel into it.
i dont blame them, well it happen to all people, right?
i just want to explain to them that actually my fate and my friend's fate is not that differ. they got an office-hour job that can get public holiday easily, but their stress and salary is the same with me. we even got the same education debt. plus and minus here and there, at the of the month we have the same amount of money left in our bank. and for godsake, i know i should be thankful that i am living with my parents that some of the stress can be cool down a little bit quicker because my home is my best cave (cave is the term familiar with introvert).
i am a clueless youth but i know what makes me happy. good friend and work environment, family, cat, book so right now i just want to keep all these things close to me. i know i should grow up, make a hijrah for a better life but you should know i am working hard on it. i want to be a writer and write story but i dont know and still searching for the opportunity. that's why i am like 'yes i gonna stick close to my dream by working at a bookstore'.
and to be a writer i know i have to write something. i am struggling to do it because i dont want to be a close-minded writer who only know how to leech on a rich guy or dreaming sth that too good to be true. i want to be a writer that speaks for the unfortunate people or at least as a marhaen people who offers support to other people to do well. i know i am more fortunate than some other teens so i really grateful with what i have.
that's why i am asking you people to stop pushing me to the cliff, making me applying for a meaningless job that i know not a little bit define my life. it sounds arrogant and selfish, but just accept me as who i am. at least i dont want to do things just because other people ask me or other 'normal' people do it. i have ambition, i have faith and a little bit of strength. i just need Allah's guide to go through it.
so.....
after all the ranting...
what it got to do with a marriage?
well wait for my second entry.
No comments:
Post a Comment