Surat untuk mereka

Assalamualaikum
Kehadapan kepada kalian, insan yang aku tujukan surat ini
Moga kalian dalam keadaan sihat sejahtera sentiasa

Pertama sekali aku ingin memohon maad atas kekhilafanku
Maaf jika ada perkataan dalam surat ini yang akan menyinggung kalian
Sesungguhnya tujuan surat ini ditulis bukan mengundang sengketa
Tetapi lebih kepada meluah rasa
Itupun jikalau kalian sudi membacanya

Aku takkan utuskan surat ini terus ke alamat kalian
Tetapi lebih elok jika aku paparkan disini
Aku takut untuk memenuhkan peti surat kalian dengan surat yang tidak penting seperti ini
Jika kalian terbaca surat ini, maka kalian benar-benar ambil tahu tentang diriku dan berhak untuk mengetahui isi hatiku
Tetapi jika tidak, aku anggap kalian masih tidak mengenaliku

Cukup mukadimah
Kalian semua...aku tahu kesedihan dan kepedihan di hatiku akibat tindakan kalian adalah petanda aku sayangkan kalian dan begitu juga sebaliknya
Kerana jika orang asing yang menyakitiku, aku boleh melupakannya barang sehari dua
Tapi kerana sayang kalian itulah yang kadangkala menyebabkan aku jadi nanar

Aku disini kerana kalian
Kerana kalian telah banyak berjasa dalam hidupku
Aku bukan mahu mengungkit walaupun itulah yang sering aku bicarakan pada diriku sendiri
Tetapi selama hidup aku 26 tahun ini, kalian adalah pengaruh utama dalam setiap keputusan yang aku buat dalam hidup
Aku beruntung dapat mengenali kalian dan hidup selama 26 tahun bersama kalian
Aku gembira jika dapat menggembirakan kalian

Cuma sejak akhir-akhir ini, mungkin kasih sayang antara kita diuji oleh Tuhan
Beberapa keputusan yang aku buat pada masa lalu, yang pada ketika itu tidak kalian bantah, diungkit kembali
Aku jadi bersalah seolah apa yang terjadi adalah salah aku
Kerana aku terlalu naif, terlalu tidak matang

Aku akui, aku manusia yang seperti itu
Aku tidak pernah merasa kesusahan dari kecil, terima kasih kepada kalian
Hidup aku sempurna jika dibandingkan dengan beberapa rakan sebaya ku
Kerana itu aku tidak meminta banyak
Aku hanya mahu kalian memahami ku sekurang-kurangnya sebagai seorang manusia

Aku punya hati, punya kehendak sendiri dan punya impian sendiri yang tidak pernah kalian tanyakan kepadaku
Sekalipun tidak pernah, aku takkan salahkan kalian kerana aku juga tidak sebegitu mendalam mengenali kalian
Hubungan kita hanya sekadar mengikut protokol pada kebanyakan masa
Yang aku fikir itulah sebab mengapa aku selalu memilih jalan selamat dalam setiap perhubungan yang lain

Mungkin aku yang harus belajar merendahkan harapan aku pada kalian
Supaya kalian juga berbuat yang demikian
Kerana sungguh, kalian hanya akan menambah ketebalan tembok yang aku bina di sekelilingku
Aku takkan dapat memenuhi harapan kalian
Aku minta maaf

Aku tak tahu untuk menjadi yang lain selain diriku
Aku tak tahu untuk menjadi sesuatu yang normal seperti rakan sebayaku yang lain
Maafkan aku kerana itu

Kerana....setiap insan ada rahsia mereka
Rahsia diriku mungkin akan dibawa sampai ke mati jika kita masih begini
Aku tidak boleh menjadi seperti 'itu'
Aku tak mampu menjadi seperti 'itu'
Kerana aku telah menemui sesuatu yang membawaku jauh dari sebuah kehidupan normal

Ia kedengaran satu hiperbola
Tetapi ketahuilah aku hidup bukan untuk diriku seorang
Bukan untuk kalian atau orang disekelilingku
Aku hidup untuk menyaksikan ummah merealisasikan ustaziatul alam

Bila kita merancang untuk melakukan segalanya tetapi sebenarnya kita tidak melakukan apa-apa
Itulah aku
Aku akui tiada apa yang aku lakukan untuk merealisasikan impianku
Tapi cukup untuk aku faham yang aku tidak boleh hidup seperti yang kalian mahukan
Punya kerjaya gah, berkeluarga bahagia

Aku tidak boleh
kerana dalam diri ini sudah terpahat nama seorang insan dan sesuatu yang melangkau segala yang didunia ini
Aku sudah ber'janji' untuk memberi sepenuh ragaku kepada mereka

Maka, aku masih dalam perjalanan mencari jalan kearah itu
Saat ini aku rasakan aku tidak mahu satu pun didunia ini untuk diriku
Aku masih bertatih mencari jalan hidupku, jauh dari seperti yang kalian mahukan
Untuk itu, berilah aku peluang

Beri aku peluang untuk membuat keputusan sendiri
Supaya diakhir waktu aku tidak akan menyalahkan sesiapa walaupun diriku sendiri
Berilah peluang untuk aku matang dengan cara hidup yang aku pilih

Aku masih belum membukakan hatiku sepenuhnya pada kalian kerana kekecewaan masa laluku
Aku tak mahu diriku dipersalahkan lagi atas keputusan yang aku buat
Aku tak mahu kalian meranapkan kepercayaan aku sekali lagi

Jadi berilah aku peluang

Maafkan aku atas keterlanjuran kata
Terima kasih atas segalanya

Yours truly,
D.

Dari Malaysia ke negeri China singgah di Turki II

Skip the greetings.

Negative review of Kara Sevda

1. The cultural shock

Basically, I know that Turki had change from the traditional Islam country to a ... emm how I can say it... a really upside down image of Islam country. I know Sultan Al Fatih accomplished the Prophet vision to rule the world with Islam at Constantinople but I also aware how Kamal Antartuk destroy all of it. I don't expect much to see the Islam value in their drama as most of our drama also not representing the true Islam.

But it is kind of awkward to see someone that portrays as the hero, the good son of his parent, the protectors of his family and the man who stand for people justice to do improper act with a married woman. I am saying this because from the beginning everyone in his family is proud for him as the successful, full of dignity and values, with no flaws at all. His mother had once told him to protect their family dignity by stop the improper relationship with a married woman. But still, there are some scene that makes me wonder why anyone don't judge his wrongdoings and justifies it by saying it is an act of love. At first I really respect both Nihan and Kemal character, but eventually they are not as good as I thought. It is not really a pure love if you don't know to read between the lines.

Love is love but your responsibility in marriage is the first priority. Yes, your husband is cruel as syaitan nirojim but still you can't be a slut who give her virginity to someone other than your husband. Ok, it is a spoiler but Nihan and Kemal really had a child before they marriage to each other. There also a scene where they escape to some place like they are having a honeymoon.

I mean god grieve, girl! You are once be the girl who full of pride that stand for yourself in front of your cruel husband. But you destroy all that pride by giving up your dignity to your so called true lover. Love is love, but no need to go that far.

I bet many of conservative girl like me would feel cultural shock watching this drama. You said 'assalamualaikum' to each other, always say good words 'masyaallah' 'alhamdulillah' 'insyaallah'
'wallah wallah' even in bad time (seldomly curse) but still don't understand the real meaning of your religion that forbid alcohol, not covering aurah, zina and other thing. You caged your daughter from being too sociable but never say anything when she audition for a models wearing tight outfit. You are worrying about the neighbours talk when your daughter had a rush marriage but not aware of both of your son doing zina before marriage. You are potraying as a good man from the beginning (prefer marriage over dating) but make him a drunkard when hard time come (and people never question it).

I was mind blown by the cultural shock i found in this drama. Maybe because if mentioning about Istanbul, Malaysian people only know about Haye Sofya, Marmara tragedy, how Erdogan accept Rohingya people with open hand.... all the good stuff that represent Islam. But they don't really aware of what Kamal Antartuk done to that country that changes their people perception about the true Islam. All of the characters I believe is Islam but not practicing it.

Hmmm.. seem like someone feeling piss off. Of course I am. We in Malaysia also like that. Look at our movie and drama, is it representing Islam? I think both of the country is at the same level and situation but we much better in pretence.

Hahaha.
Sentap.

Ok, next drama 'I belonged to you' (made in China)

Dari Malaysia ke negeri China singgah di Turki

Assalamualaikum. Greetings.

No, I am not travelling to those places. I am too poor to do it.

Well at first, as I said in my previous entry I am watching a Malay drama (Love Bridge) but unfortunately I got annoyed and stop to watch. Then I am craving for another drama, lucky to get know about Love Me if You Dare drama (made in China). Actually I am kinda lazy to watch detective story other than Sherlock(this is because of Benedict) and Hello Monster (this one because of Park Bogum). So yeah I give it a try anyway because the drama seem to beautifully capture all the scenes. Plus the main casts seems compatible and interesting.

As I said, I am lazy. So I save it for later. Move on!

Then I encounter with Kara Sevda, a drama from Turki. God grieve, I am really going to international drama maniac. The titles means endless love btw.

Positive review first.
1. The plot and character
I can assure you the story is really great. It begins as other drama cliche, a love between the rich and the poor. The heroine, Nihan is a free spirit rich girl who get interested with a common man she met on the bus. So who cares about the social status, she just find him as a comfortable companion so they become friend and lovers. I swear much of the drama or movies i watch always have cringe, cliche dialogue when it comes to knowing their potential lover (which is annoying and don't make sense). But these two character is so chill but sweet at the same time. Nihan with her straight forward and bold character and Kemal with his upright, decent but charming character.

But something comes up that force this girl to marry the antagonist Emir and destroy their love. Hell no. For me, it is an end to a relationship when you have to marry to someone else. So yes, unless she poison her husband, it will be so hard to be divorced and be with man she love. Both of them seem to give up to each other after five years but fate seem play a game with their life. It takes time for them really to stop hating each other and found a common ground that is their love.

Yes, it is like a forbidden love. But I know both of them know their limit. They are just love spending time chatting, bickering and planning strategy to solve the mess made by Emir that disrupt their live and their family.

I swear all over again kudos given to other supporting actors that really doing their job very well. Their acting is much better than the Hollywood, and Korean maybe. Well I am not majored in acting or film but as an audience, I can tell that these people is not acting but living their life as usual. I love how Zeynep, the ordinary sister character become the core person creating issues and conflict in her brother life. I love how Tufan, the obedient secretary making twist in the story. I love the realistic and optimistic Leyla that seem able to read everyone mind and heart in a cool way.

There are many character that really actually make the story realistic and interesting so yeah, I dont mind if Turki want to remake any Korean drama ( I heard rumors...or is it actually had happened?)

2. This drama really captivates the real differences between craziness and true love. Left aside true love between Nihan and Kemal, I am not into it very much because of some reason (read on my negative part review). So we skip to craziness of Emir towards Nihan.

Sometimes I always wondered about is Emir really can prove his love towards Nihan is genuine. Watching him doing mess with people around him I feel like want to give a love advice; "Bro, you really don't have a clue about what every woman needs, do you? You are only throw tantrum at that girl because she don't love you back like a spoiled child". But with his consistent evil and cruel action till the end, I give up on him to be just once a good husband and lover to Nihan. Oh, except the last scene on the last episode where she lead her step to avoid bomb. Oh (again) that effort seem uselss since he don't repent all his bad deeds to her and Kemal. This drama writer really caught me red handed for really wanting the usual 'bad guy turn good' storyline.

So.. wait for the part two.
Bye