The ending

Okay
Here I clarify what the buahaha is going on.

Yes every youth got their own problem. In fact, the problems are same.
Education debt, this and that debt.
For single lady, they got headache with finding husband.
For bride to be, they got headache with finding money for marriage.

So what is the relationship between my past school life with my future?
That is the question that been bought up to me lately.
As if my dull lifestyle make my future go dark and no direction.

I dont know how to answer that.
Because all friend that going through the same dull pathways is going to different direction.
I dont know who to look up to.
I dont know who I should trust.

Because the person that I hope to understand me had betray my trust.
The person who everyone said 'going through hell just to bring you to this world' just cant see it
That what I am looking in my life isn't a man, marriage or money.
It is happiness that can be created by many different ways.

My faith to Allah.
My sahabat
Alla's love letter
My book
My writing
My cats
My dramas
My siblings

I wont mention family.
Because as soon I enter the adult world, I cant see anybody as my family.
If family is someone who never fails to ask you about your job, your salary, then yes, I have. bunch of them.
If family is someone who criticize all your life decision, yes, I got.
If family is someone who complains when they have to take care of you, yes I have.

I am sorry.
My negative view of life is not come from the 'dark ghost' that stay with me.
It is because of the society and that family you mention above.
I am not hating them, I am avoiding them.
I avoid them so that my hatred wont break our relationship.

I know this entry is going nowhere.
And it explain nothing about my real problem.
Just so you know I am in misery.
Just wish I am not going to be Anna Wilkes.